8/17/2008 03:45:00 AM
zzz
went nana with her and friends on thursday bought her flowers, i asked if she could remember how many flowers i gave her and she did! girl you simply rocks! smiles! we had fun, she enjoyed herself and i'm happy she did, finally she painted the smile on my face, she made my day!went Geo at Shenton Way yesterday met up with Joyce. long time since i've seen her. had a little chat. world is so small they knew one another. happy to see her but till late things went totally wrong for me, gone crazy! she actually hold a guy's hand and walked towards the toilet! was thinking what the hell she's doing! being sensitive i followed thinking she wanted to go to the ladies but i never even see the guy! kept thinking where she went what she's doing! texted her but she denied holding hands, replied just friends. got drunk in the end did not know where my friends brought me for supper. woke up 12pm and 1st thing in my mind was the image of her hold the guy's hand leading the way! once again i gone hay wired, isn't it painful to see such a scene? especially someone you love. it really shattered my heart. texted and texted and called and called her, no reply till evening. saying she was drunk can't remember what she did last night, she is single and what's wrong when she is drunk and the guy held her and there's no reason to explain. it's totally different from what i saw with my own eyes she hold his hand and lead the way. i kept thinking on the negative side! ok yes you are single and yes you have your freedom and i have no rights to interfere but still it hurts to see your love ones doing this and the image isn't good. kept telling myself is it wrong to text her why she is doing this? i was worried yet i'm broken. is it so hard to care and love? i asked myself again and again is my method of caring and loving someone possessive? i don't know the answer kept thinking it's for her own good yet comments from peers were negative about my mindset and what i was doing was wrong. why is love so complicated! the more you care and love the more they back off, but when you don't they will think why are you not caring and do you love me and when you don't really care they leave. devastated as i am now! my tears are dry my heart swollen my mind spins. WHY IS IT SO HARD TO LOVE! am i wrong? if yes i'm sorry whatever you do that hurts no matter how many times the glass shatters, i still will be there cause there's love. as you said you love no one for the time being and let nature take it's path, yes i agree some things can't be forced but still i'll run the never ending path to finish line that never exist, cause flowers might one day bloom in the winter. miracle do exists because i love you.Labels: the happy and unhappy days
