LOVES black

9/30/2007 08:17:00 PM

zzz

9/29/2007 04:03:00 AM

zzz

the birth of my little

the death of my little

welcome to my son's funeral.

9/28/2007 02:47:00 AM

zzz

--Baby's Dinner Menu
.1 bowl Flaked Salmon & Ocean Whitefish
.1 pinch Salmon Stick
.1 cup H2O

9/26/2007 11:06:00 PM

zzz

She's a model and she's looking good.
I like to take her home thats understood.
She plays hard to get she smiles from time to time.
It only takes a camera to change her mind.
She's going out tonight drinking just champagne and she has been checking all the men.
She's playing her game and you can her them say.
She's looking good for beauty we will pay.
She's posing for consumer products now and then.
For every camera she gives the best she can.
I saw her on the cover of a magazine.
Now she's a big success,
I want to meet her again.

9/25/2007 02:01:00 AM

zzz

baby don't cry lets savor the sweet memories we 3 had together. though it's a short time we had but enough for us to consume our 3 course meal...

9/24/2007 11:53:00 PM

zzz

today is 1st out of 4 days i'll be working in starhub. i'm not as useless as you think i've got a job!

baby has start to lose his cat senses. look at baby the way he sits and watch tv with his daddy! so adorable=) hi baby i'm here!

9/24/2007 11:34:00 PM

zzz

hey girl you know little about my life
so stop spreading nonsense information about my life
you don't have to care for me anymore
who are you? like what you always said to me
now you've have a boyfriend so care for him
i'm nothing to you.!
the only one who cares is baby!
you've left us for your attention seeking life.!
you've left us to fulfill satisfy your flirtatious needs.!
you've left us for your girl lusting guys.!
you've left us for your clubbing life.!
most importantly you've left baby and me.!
so now care for your boyfriend
or
whoever you want to lead on
why must you care when you choose to leave
why say we might get a chance in the future
when you choose to find other guys.
so is it when you are sick of other guys then you'll return?
fark this whole love life of mine!
i hate my love life!
it's turning from worse to worst!

9/24/2007 02:09:00 AM

zzz

9/24/2007 01:55:00 AM

zzz

my left arm unable to raise up
both my toes are sore
my left sole hurts
gosh i'm wounded

9/22/2007 04:05:00 PM

zzz

it sank to the bottom
it shatters upon sadness
it is a victim of affection
it bleeds like no other
it is untouchable by strangers
it hangs within our rib cage
waiting to be consumed

9/21/2007 04:07:00 PM

zzz

looking back...
we used to feed baby
show him
shop for his things
clear his stuff
tug him to bed
play his favourite ball with him
bring baby out
you're known as his mum me as his dad
everything seems like yesterday
haha wondering why am i doing all these by myself now
it feels kinda low morale
baby seems guilty whenever he did something wrong
will he's his dad's good boy!
forever he is...

9/20/2007 10:42:00 PM

zzz

here i am walking alone in this lonely road
is there no one who can paint the smile on my face
tired of this shitty life tired of this endless journey
sick of the search sick of everything
empty my skill so i can't ponder
tear of my skin so i can't feel sharpness of the blade
pull out my nerves so i can't feel the pain
rib out my ribcage so i can free myself
grab my heart so i can feel your love

9/20/2007 02:03:00 PM

zzz

i've baby for me to look forward each day
where is the she to bring my smile
anyone anyone will do
be there for me
and i'll be there for you
allow me to cheer you up
bring the bright side of life to me each day
with a smile that back-ens i'll sign off

9/20/2007 02:02:00 PM

zzz

i'm down with my soul
depressed might seem the word
but i'm fine thankyou

9/20/2007 02:01:00 PM

zzz

letting go seems hard but i have to give it a try
i hate you
for the things you've done

9/19/2007 02:02:00 PM

zzz

nothing is right nothing is alright nothing is right
wrong to right right from wrong
nothing can go on steer me from left to right
teach me how to fight
teach me how to strive
teach me how to fight
empty the sins answer my confession
i'm at your feet
answer my call
give me the strength to carry on
wake me up from the darkest dreams

9/19/2007 12:56:00 AM

zzz

wondering what had i done wrong this time. everyone seems to be avoiding me. am i the cause of these shit thrown at me. talk to me they way we did in the past. treat me the way you did. not whats going on now. chase away the dreadful curse the unforgiven sin upon me. slit my tongue so i can't speak. cripple my lips so you could care for me. break my soul so u are appreciated. wash my brain so i can know the new you. i have did everything i could to save this friendship. speak to me talk to me. i'm sorry

9/17/2007 09:59:00 PM

zzz

just to remind myself that even though loving may cause me so much fucking pain and so much misery, a tortured heart is better than none and so is death. please takecare of my heart so that it's protected from others and all that may hurt to the point that it's as fragile as a twig, the only person who can truly break it is you.

9/17/2007 12:37:00 AM

zzz

The drugs they say make us feel so hollow
We love in vain narcissistic and so shallow
The cops and queers to swim you have to swallow
Hate today, no love for tomorrow
We're all stars now in the dope show
There's a lot of pretty, pretty ones
That want to get you high
But all the pretty, pretty ones
Will leave you low and blow your mind
We're all stars now in the dope show
They love you when you're on all the covers
When you're not then they love another
The drugs they say are made in California
We love your face
We'd really like to sell you
The cops and queers make good-looking models
I hate today
Who will I wake up with tomorrow?
We're all stars now in the dope show

Labels: Marilyn Manson

9/17/2007 12:07:00 AM

zzz

i knew i could never return to those days now. even if my heart was whole it would be black and painful but the pain of no heart was even stronger than the pain of one that i had been torturing myself for so long and i only realised it as i fallen into the trap joined by millions of shattered heart caught in the blizzard. what a wrong move i've made. i thought without a heart i couldn't feel the pain and agony but it wasn't that simple, its never that easy.

9/16/2007 04:53:00 PM

zzz

she broke her own fucking heart. she ripped it into pieces and threw it in a sink where it sunk straight to the bottom, never to be found by me again and as she stared at the hole where she had ripped it from her chest she screamed and cryed full of regret for what she'd done but so damn happy it was over. no more heart. no more fucking love. it was all over.

9/15/2007 04:53:00 PM

zzz

the night filled with strangeness as it devour away the endless time, the sun awaits it's rising moments filling the spirits with youthfulness if only wonderful moments could bring us a inch closer each day.

9/14/2007 10:05:00 PM

zzz

had baby bathed today smells good now...wandering whats happened to baby, did not ate much today, did not really drink, he kept sleeping! is he sick?

9/14/2007 12:19:00 AM

zzz

i thought you could brighten my day once again but you did not. you've added more needles to my heart, you've slashed opened my wound, you've once again torn my skin, you've break me down into pieces. you've eaten me alive. now i'm gone you're happy!

9/14/2007 12:09:00 AM

zzz

HELP ME PUT THE PIECES OF MY LIFE TOGETHER ONCE AGAIN. GUIDE ME TO THE RIGHT PATH

9/14/2007 12:00:00 AM

zzz

is it your bias-ness or is it your attitude or is it me myself to blame

9/13/2007 11:47:00 PM

zzz

it has always been so unfair. whenever u repeated a question i will be shouted at. if it was your friends you won't do that. it has always been me my fault to embarrass you in our conversations. yes i'm crazy i'm retard unable to be compared to your guys. irritating full of shit crazy insane call me all these names!
what different does it make when it does not matter to me anymore.

9/13/2007 11:45:00 PM

zzz

Am I Okay?I am fearing...It is my cries of terror you are hearing...This pain....this anger....Burning red, flowing from an open vein....the screams....the tears....I’m falling....falling into my fears...Anger burning in me....an untame one...I have always been a wild spirit....always untame...So many emotions....all in one feeling...Slashing into me.....wounds beyond healing...It all falls back into one thought....One question I have always fought.......am I really okay?No....I cannot say.........that I’m okay

9/10/2007 09:19:00 PM

zzz

you don't care, everything i've said, everything i've promised. my perseverance has not won you over, you don't care, what even if i've changed. you've forgotten me, you've placed our feelings all in a box, you've promised never to open it again. every actions, every word, every breath you've had our feelings forgotten, gone like a wind, your heart like a stone, to see you not returning, not to feel...you moved forward sworn not to turn back, you're in love, your heart is free, without me, not belonging to me anymore, your heart ran so far i just couldn't catch hold of it, soon you'll be belonging to someone whom you've chosen, but yet not me, it's so late at night the doors not locked, your belongings in my room, our memories nailed to heart, your actions printed on my mind, your image tattooed in my skin. hoping you could come back home never had seemed real at all, it'll never come ture. good karma will never existed.

9/10/2007 09:12:00 PM

zzz

every night when i try to fall asleep you're the only one i think about. i miss seeing you but you left my heart and now i just want to cry and hate you but how can i cry when there's no tears left. and how can i hate you when in my heart i'm still loving you

9/09/2007 05:14:00 AM

zzz

If i could...
I'll break your wings,
So you'll stay close to me,
I'll break your spirit,
So you never leave me,
I'll break you heart,
So you'll only think of me,
I'll break you,
So you'll only want me.

9/08/2007 05:12:00 AM

zzz

have you ever had those times, when you just have to cry? if you don't, then surely you'll go insane? have you once had a time, just stare at the sky? to just lie down and listen and let life passes by. have you sang by the window, in the moonlight and rain? have you ever continue your melody even after the moon waned, the sun rise? because right now i feel like hiding from emotions that kills. right now i am here watching the clouds, the clouds were made by a hand of great skills. teach me how to make my life right, the way it should be. right now the tunes starts to fill my mind, in the moonlight and chilling breeze, enjoying this love, which is causing me pain.

9/08/2007 02:14:00 AM

zzz

When i'm with you i feel invincible, protected by your smell, when I think of not being the one who kisses you, I think of a living hell. For as long as I can remember, i've always been afraid, but once i've held you in my sleep, the dreams go on for days. Baby i've looked at our reflection, I cant believe what I saw. Baby you're so truly beautiful used to be always standing there with me. I gazed into your eyes as you looked into mine i found purity in its finest form, i've lost my grasp of time. I have a regret...to leave you walking alone. When we were one the moments are the most amazing that where it all locked up in my mind and where I document our lives. Eternity is not forever, but i'll wait forever more, because im no longer just waiting for that thing worth waiting for, i'm waiting for the thing i loved

9/07/2007 02:12:00 AM

zzz

i've brought myself to the state where i just can't remember who i am now, pehaps disgusted others might seems pehaps this is insane stop wasting time others might say. ignorance is what i am now, no one for sure know what i'm thinking. STOP SHUTTING AT ME, STOP HUNTING ME, WAKE ME UP FROM THE DREAMS. sanity has yet to be stopped.

9/07/2007 01:57:00 AM

zzz

my subconscious mind isn't aware of the spoke truth, blinded my the state of unwillingness to give up what has past, inflicting pain to myself living in my own world of torments. sometimes believing in oneself isn't the right thing. in the state of what i'm in now it's so complicated, so confusing that i could not tell whats right from wrong. sinking deeper unable to hold on together means more pain, minutes past hours past days past every frag i burnt every moment of heartache, just could not turn back time. some say perhaps in the future fate will bring everything together well how can i agree on that, it draws me away from you each passing second. if only i could just pray hard and wait as time flies or if only i could just waste my time trying harder each time when chances arrived. some say we're not meant to be some say maybe it's the past that you've done well how can i undo every rotten memories that overwhelmed the sweet chocolates i've given.

9/07/2007 01:56:00 AM

zzz

if only i could let go of you. if only i am the one u date. if only i could turn back time

9/07/2007 12:36:00 AM

zzz

come to think of it, you're irrespondsible!
i shake my head whenever i see baby.
well doesn't matter anymore
you've been erased from our memories

9/07/2007 12:33:00 AM

zzz

i love my baby! he's grow so big so fat! i like!
so cute. baby~
so busy these few days kept forgetting to feed him on time feel so bad!
well at least i'm here baby~

9/06/2007 08:59:00 PM

zzz

did i msg xun last night yes i did.why? i'm not sure too was talking to kC abt it he said do what you want to do, was drinking at kC house after dbo. had to look after a drunk girl and man she's heavy!

9/06/2007 08:45:00 PM

zzz

Happy Birthday Mummy !

9/05/2007 07:44:00 AM

zzz

goodmorning to me

9/05/2007 06:20:00 AM

zzz

Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
I've lost my lights
I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all

Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
You think love is to pray
I'm sorry I don't pray that way

Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go

Labels: Marilyn Manson

9/04/2007 01:48:00 AM

zzz

i need fags so so damn bad!
it's changing my mood drastically
oh fags where are you,
i need you so bad!

9/04/2007 12:25:00 AM

zzz

seduction shows up. desires plays tricks. lust upon skin. we danced. our eyes closed. our souls taken away breathlessly like a memory we never had before...

9/03/2007 02:49:00 PM

zzz

Putting Holes in Happiness
We'll paint the future black
If it needs any color
My death sentence is a story
who'll be digging when you finally Let me die?
The Romance of our assassination
If you're Bonnie, I'll be your Clyde
But the grass is greener here and
I can see all of your snakes
You wear your ruins well
please run away with me to Hell
Blow out the Candles
on all my Frankensteins
At least my death wish will come true
You taste like Valentine's and we cry,
you're like a Birthday
I should have picked the photograph
It lasted longer than you

Labels: Marilyn Manson

9/02/2007 08:59:00 PM

zzz

it's amazing.
how people think that i'm doing alright
it's amazing.
how love can find it's way
it's amazing.
how sensitive humans were
it's amazing.
how human beings get hurt easily
it's amazing.
how human beings get over easily
it's amazing.
how human beings get emotionally distorted
it's amazing.
how human beings shed tears
it's amazing.
how i tear my skin and doesn't bleed
it's amazing.
how i get paranoid
it's amazing.
how i cut my veins and it bleed

9/02/2007 08:47:00 PM

zzz

for all u know bitch i might send you
you might receive hate mails !

9/01/2007 01:08:00 PM

zzz

no more a fallen angel

9/01/2007 01:07:00 PM

zzz

i've got baby by myself
he has only a dad with him
baby love love baby

9/01/2007 01:03:00 PM

zzz

blame me if you want
i'm stating facts
i'm not more than a liar
no more a swollen heart
there's a smile
there's a reason
sanity's gone

9/01/2007 12:54:00 PM

zzz

OK now i'm over with you!
my heart ain't heavy anymore!
moving towards the happy side of me
at least i've got 101 reasons to move forward
go ahead and ruin yourself with guys
bleh bleh bleh
well after all the stupid prank
the "flawless lies"
the scene u ran away with him upon seeing me
well i don't deserve this treatment
maybe i do but i seriously don't think so
oh let me cut my heart out to see if it's bleeding
oh man you must me disappointed!
it's not bleeding
you're erased permanently!

9/01/2007 12:44:00 PM

zzz

just got home from Charmaine's 21st , everyone was dead tired, stayed over till morning, got to see Xun, she's still as lovely as usually. took care of maine, her bro, and her bro's fren and xun with the help of her sis all drunk as usual. fun looking after them, got to see their foolish acts at least some laughter. now then i realise when xun's slping her face look so cute. memories brought me some smile. no worries i'm alright here got over with the previous! at least xun doesn't change still the same old her who treats me with respect unlike someone else! guess what xun knows what i'm thinking. well fullstop for the girls. i've had great fun!

HAPPY ADVANCE 21st BIRTHDAY MAINE ! you're my best girl friend ever !

9/01/2007 12:43:00 PM

zzz

i'm blood thirsting !