10/31/2007 04:02:00 PM
zzz
mum i will be cooking tonight...
so whats the problem with me cooking!
eat it or leave it!
CreamyPasta or Rib-EyeSteaks?
had this weird vision yesterday night!
i saw myself leaving near xun's
invited xun, her bf, her bro, her bro's gf, and parents, to my place for dinner
i saw myself as a good cook!
they love my cooking!
cooking to impress? what a laughingstock!
no actually i love to cook
just that no one help me wash plates!
so that is the reason for me wanting to cook!
wish my dad was here
10/30/2007 01:52:00 AM
zzz
so surprised to see Cherin walking into my room when i thought Jackee will be coming up by herself. she bought me my favourite handroll but still owe me 8more! surprised though...brought me a smile too=)
10/30/2007 01:28:00 AM
zzz
i see the two lovers
he starts to kiss her
i grab my scythe
i am the ripper
they look in my eyes
as i slash deeper
they're still holding hands
couldn't be sweeter
the blade reaches her heart
blood now flows thicker
they're not torn apart
not by the ripper
as they breathe for the last time
rain falls from above
blood flows like wine
i can't take their love
it's not meant to be mine.
10/28/2007 10:31:00 PM
zzz
had not been sleeping for over 24hrs! did not have sufficient sleep! NEED TO HAVE ONE! exams over finger kept crossed...now i'm surviving on few leftover fags, coke and fishman's friend! STOP BITING ME AND LEAVE THE ITCH BEHIND C'mon LET ME KILL YOU! painted my room brown and white!
10/27/2007 05:47:00 AM
zzz
looking forward to my friend's wedding later! looking forward to trip to Bangkok! what a great way to end 2007! just that i can't spend the time with the one i love, i can't get to travel with her anymore, perhaps forever. had walked through many rough terrain in 2007, i finished army, enrolled into MDIS with the help of my loved, broke up with the 2nd girl i loved in my life, celebrated my 21st birthday with no joy yet no regrets, i don't need a P-plate anymore, lost of baby my beloved baby! i missed him so much! hope i might one day see him outside my doorstep. now going Bangkok with my friends, maybe might help me release my tensions,sadness,grief and perhaps open my eyes for a wider view in life.
10/27/2007 05:41:00 AM
zzz
had been watching some Hong Kong drama series for these few days. did not want to watch till once day i felt that i had little private time with mummy so sat and watch with her, now it seems like i'm more into it then her! i'm not the typical guy that will watch some chinese drama series but it's really good! Sui Re Feng Yun is a great series! now i had finish the whole series till the final chapter! something is wrong with the disc! i can't watch the final 2hrs of the show! fuck the disc!
10/24/2007 07:44:00 PM
zzz
had been spending money like water flowing from the tap. money thrown on liquor and cigarettes is just too much. the amount i drank is just too terrible, the number of sticks i've burn is countless! now i've gotten sick of my life. the same routine everyday made my life tasteless! maybe one day a series of wonderful events will happen on me...
10/24/2007 07:41:00 PM
zzz
i knew i could never return to those days now. even if my heart was whole it would be black and painful but the pain of no heart was even stronger than the pain of one that had been tortured for so long and i only realised it as i fell into the cell joined by millions of ripped heart in the cold damn cell. i thought without a heart i couldn't feel the pain and agony but it wasnt that simple, its never that easy.
10/21/2007 09:18:00 PM
zzz
baby is gone! she gave it away without me agreeing without me saying goodbye! i miss him! i love him! i love everypart of him! the way he poo, i missed bathing him, they way he looked at me, when he sleep beside me, we enjoyed each other's company, he love playing his favourite ball game, we played catching almost everyday! i missed the way he massaged me, he love the view outside my window he would just sit there watching the cars, he will sit and stared at me as i smoke, i missed the way he wanted me to pet him, i missed him waiting for me whenever i goes toilet, i loved him! i love everypart of him! he has became part of me! he hears me speak of the sad, he will sit and listen as tears flow! he will sit behind the door awaiting for me coming home.
HAD HE EATEN? WILL HE BE MISSING ME? WILL HE SIT BY THE WINDOW WAITING FOR ME TO GET HIM?
BABY I LOVE YOU!
HAD HE EATEN? WILL HE BE MISSING ME? WILL HE SIT BY THE WINDOW WAITING FOR ME TO GET HIM?
BABY I LOVE YOU!
10/21/2007 06:02:00 AM
zzz
What meaning in life still exists,that anyone will hear? Existence always seems to have its own limits. I remember my dreams, and sometimes they drive me feel such unbelievable feelings.
Feelings that are soon crushed by the weight of stupidity and thoughts. I’ve witnessed it all turn to dust in the blink of an eye. There is so much to be achieved, and that achievement drives the purpose away, and cheapens it all with the darkness that will forever blind those who does not hold on to it dearly. Someday I hope to see, with my eyes open, the beauty behind a naked smile, the type of which I only see, when I am unconscious.
10/19/2007 05:15:00 PM
zzz
DAMNED I MISS YOU !
HEAR IT !
SEE IT !
FEEL IT !
10/17/2007 12:23:00 AM
zzz
You know sometimes i feel like i'm being avoided by people, like something (though i don't know what) is always my fault, like i'm the one who started the fights, and quite frankly i don't know why. Somedays i was in good mood, but it felt like something was missing, but not something like my exam grades, it was like a piece of me that was missing. I just don't know what part of me that was missing. Actually i have been feeling like this a lot ever since i pulled myself back together. I had been a big liar all along, i would hide things from certain friends, i would tell them it's ok everything was fine, when it really isn't, and that it's good but i really wished they knew it. i hide my feelings underneath my pillow, i kept my love from expressing itself away from the light. Behind every smiles hide a painful truth, behind every sarcasm flowing out of my mouth lies a false part of me. Their life is wonderful but not mine. Sometimes it feels like i have nothing and nothing left in me that will not be later taken by someone. For now i have decided to think of life in a new way. Only positives. Negativity is so under rated. What i meant was why waste life thinking of the sad, why waste time thinking of how the one you like feels of you, why bother pondering about where others are happy and you are not, when there is fun in out there. I guess there just isn't enough people smiling in the world.
10/16/2007 11:46:00 PM
zzz
the girl i met at BoatQuay msg me !
10/16/2007 04:50:00 AM
zzz
i lost my licence!
10/15/2007 02:47:00 AM
zzz
hand picked the shattered pieces
bleed on my way through
found a new light
walked myself through
expect a different LY
expect a new me
10/15/2007 02:34:00 AM
zzz
please be considerate and return my 100bucks to me i need it for my oversea trip! pay back soon! i don't wan to have any contacts with you anymore thanks. i want to build my Berlin wall against you!
10/14/2007 04:03:00 AM
zzz
ROAR.. 2.5hrs caught 10 big prawns in my 1st prawn fishing trip, exciting fun, but yet expensive! guess what, everytime i light a cig i caught a prawn, weird! damn i felt very guilty seeing them jumping in the bag! will be dead in a few hours in the freezer...
10/11/2007 09:54:00 PM
zzz
sometimes
someone's love is someone's pain
someone's happiness is someone's sadness
someone's tear is someone's smile
sometimes i wish i had them both.
someone's love is someone's pain
someone's happiness is someone's sadness
someone's tear is someone's smile
sometimes i wish i had them both.
10/11/2007 09:48:00 PM
zzz
you had a chance to love
you had a chance to care
you let go of love
you forgot how to care
now..
you don't know
whats missing from your life
10/11/2007 09:38:00 PM
zzz
Desperate for changing
straving for turth
i'm closer where i started
i'm chasing after you
i'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all i held on to
i'm standing here until make me move
i'm hanging by a movement here with you.
Day after day time pass away
and i just can't get you off my mind
nobody knows i hide it inside
i keep on searching but i just can't find
the coverage show
to letting you know
i've never felt so much love before
and once again
i'm thinking about..
taking the easiest way out.
Night after night i hear myself say
why can't this feeling just fade away
there's no one like you
you speak to my heart
it's such a shame we are world apart
i'm just too shy to ask
i'm too proud to lose.
Labels: By YJ
10/09/2007 01:25:00 AM
zzz
Every day a little more breaks and falls away. I must walk with careful footsteps, or I might trip and shatter. I try to glue the pieces back in place, but as I do more breaks away. This mask is wearing thin. I don't want others to see lies beneath it, in that filthy shrouded darkness. I am not ready to let it see the light. The light is far too painful and the darkness beneath the mask is somehow comforting. The pain isn't always stabbing, sometimes it's just a dull ache. But I have become accustomed to it, now it is a comfort. Maybe I am happy. Maybe this pain is my happiness. Maybe these tears are my way of smiling. It is so common for me to feel this. Just as it is common for others to smile and laugh. Maybe this is my joy. Then if this is my joy...what is my love? Do I dare ask that question only to find the answer is something more horrifying than I care to realize? I would rather simply hide in my darkness...my own little world. It doesn't frighten me as it used to. Now it is calming. Even when the memories approach from behind. They still cause so many tears, but that is my way of smiling. So it must be comfort i'm feeling.
10/09/2007 01:18:00 AM
zzz
hate those liars out there creating trouble! do not speak of something you cannot do! when you needed help you came crying. when you've gotten help you ran away happily you won't bother returning, isn't it ungrateful? maybe thats why everyone around you start cursing you, they hate you just that you did not know yet, you think what you are doing now is always right? bitch you're wrong! you've let the one who trusted you and believe in you down. let you burn your away in your next life.WHORE!
10/08/2007 02:20:00 AM
zzz
oh god i'm so sick! down with sorethroat, feeling feverish, cough. this shit is killing me!. at least i've something kept me looking forward, planning for a tour end of year, perhaps an escape for me, bangkok? hongkong? taiwan? man! i need to cut down on my consumtion of tobacco! chances of me being killed by a stick of 9mg Tar 0.7mg Nicotine is higher than me getting a girlfriend! cutting down may help me save some money for my trip. gosh i need a get back on the right track. thanks Janice,Amanda,Vanggie,Jacilyn,Fred,WeiYang,ATB,WenCheng,Amelia for being there, well appreciated! ehh last but not least a LJL name KhooYongJin you simply ROAR!
10/05/2007 09:59:00 PM
zzz
today wasn't right, looking at the newborn babies...reminds me of my baby. it hurts it really do.!
like a squashed cranberry, tomato ketchup splattered all over. it rips me apart. sorry baby i'm sorry. i know you can feel it inside me i know it cause i feel you crawling within me. i took your life away just like you took my soul, you can feel the emptiness within am i right. STOP IT will you. don't let daddy's mood/feelings come and go.
Labels: my baby
10/05/2007 01:52:00 AM
zzz
i need motivation both in life and my studies yet i have to fulfill my dream working in one of the top banks in town. i want a car! i want a good relationship! baby comes along with me. i need someone inspiring someone to give me a push forward towards my dream!
10/04/2007 01:28:00 AM
zzz
bitch , wanton , slut , prostitute , harlot , promiscuous , whore , strumpet , lewd , lascivious , lechery.
10/03/2007 03:25:00 AM
zzz
BURN THOSE DULL NIGHTS AWAY
